100 Days Revisited

In the first 100 Days of the Orange One's Administration in 2017, I drew a selfie each day and articulated a dream, a value, or a belief. It was a practice of introspection amidst what felt like escalating state violence, authoritarianism, and a techno-fascist takeover of everything of, by, and for The Public. I needed to know my own self a bit better so that I could navigate the chaos around me. 100 Days did just that.

We're now nine years from those first 100 days, and we find ourselves racing towards The End. From Yelamu, the unceded lands of the Ramaytush Ohlone people, I see how what's happening federally is also what's happening within states which is also what's happening in municipalities. It doesn't matter which party it is. It doesn't matter what words they speak or even if they are saying the ones I want to hear. Their actions, their votes, are aligning towards accelerating our Race to The End.

This feels like an important time to (re)examine my once stated values, dreams, and beliefs and check in with my being. What might want to shift, expand, contract? What remains the same? What bolder, wilder dream can I dream? Which values are lines in the sand? Which beliefs are now false?

It's been nine years since I first spent 100 days looking at myself. Here's a reflection of who I now be.

"I believe our economic policies should center on those who are poor. I may have already written this but it needs to be reiterated."

I love the color juxtaposition of this. The deep lavender background with white bold hand letter. My crimson face and dusty teal tongue with pale dandelion lower lip peeking out of my long gray beard. My signature charcoal beanie atop my head. I like that the image feels playful amidst a clear, bold belief statement.

And I still believe it. I believe that if we want a way out of today, we need to be clear about who should benefit from public good. If we do not center the poor, we will not get free. We must be willing to say this loudly with our hole chests and full deep breaths. This is a central belief of mine.

"I dream of a day when wearing a skirt and eyeliner is free from harassment."

The pink tear in my eye stirs memories of the sadness I felt constantly during that time. The sadness is still here, and it is not always at the fore the way it was in 2017. I remember hearing so many stories still of people in skirts and eyeliners getting shit thrown their way. I was one of those people in a skirt and eyeliner that got shit too. I know it is not the same as others who wear skirts and eyeliner, and I also dream dreams where we all can wear what we desire.

This dream seems so necessary still. And I want to expand it. I dream of a world free from harassment and sexual assault. This is bigger than a skirt, and right now there are real life or death stakes for victims of sexual assault.

"I value being queer."

I threw on a long wig and my wide brimmed hat fir this one. I like the dramatic aesthetic of the deep charcoal background, the yellow hat, the blood red hair, the orange beard, my periwinkle face, and navy lip. My gaze, up and to the right, feigned and my gaping mouth bored. A snapshot of a bathroom self just fucking around.

I don't just value being queer. I fucking love being queer. It is one of the core values of who I am in this chaotic cosmos. The ability to choose and choose again and choose again who you be and yet still find who you be as who we were and will always be. I wouldn't want to be any other way.

"I believe Drumpf's Budget is the most honest the Republican Party has ever been about their values, and I believe those values are morally bankrupt."

This one today feels even more poignant and relevant. We are at the start of budget season here in San Francisco, and so I am aligning myself with the San Francisco People's Budget. I am on the Steering Committee with people I met over 26 years ago. Digging into the local budget and reflecting on this Day, I still deeply believe that budgets are moral documents. And I believe that San Francisco's, California's, and the United States's Budgets are morally bankrupt.

Our budgets are not working for the poor. The budgets are not working for my neighbors and the people need help. We know that our tax dollars can go towards care, aid, food, housing. We even saw our government under the Orange One's presidency take actions to put money in people's pockets to pay for basic needs. Locally, we had solutions like Guaranteed Basic Income pilots for artists, unhoused mothers, trans people, and they worked with big "returns on investments."

Today, I would only amend this to include Mayor Daniel Lurie's budget is a statement of what he values. And he does not value what I know San Franciscan's to value. He values the same kinds of people the Orange One does. Because he's just another pawn in the Billionaire's Agenda to kill us all.

"I dream of art and labor and exchange and healing and creation and science and spirit."

I love, love, love the joint hanging from my dusty plum lips hiding behind my warm gray mustache and beard. The sea foam green background just makes the awkwardness of this image pop. My muted royal blue skin makes my dandelion eyes pop under my goldenrod eyebrows. In writing this description, I remember this being morning and sitting on my front stoop taking this photo. Suddenly, I'm back nine years ago.

Observing where I am now, I am in this dream. Nine years later, I co-run a space that is bring trans, queer, nonbinary, and comrade communities together. And we have a weekly night, Thursdays Are for Queers and Comrades that is such a beautifully collective experience.

May this dream thrive!

"I dream that all my friends and their intersecting identities and communities can live and love freely."

Amen! There really isn't too much more to say about this. Just love the colors: the neon olive background, azure skin, hot pink beard, and periwinkle brows and hair.