I'm often asked, "Hey Queerly Complex, how is it you can make such deep connections?"
For almost two decades, I've had a really hard time explaining exactly how it is I do what I do. I know I have a knack for digging beneath the surface and revealing the roots and undercurrents present, especially ones unknown to the person sharing with me. I also couldn't really explain the mechanics of how I do it. I just replied, "I listen and repeat back what you say. It's simple."
That isn't quite accurate, though, and my reply would be met with a bit of bewilderment and exasperation. "But QC, it isn't simple. Listening is your super power. I don't know how you do it, but you hear more than what it is I'm saying. You gotta teach me how to do it."
The conversation ended there because I couldn't observe my own behaviors while truly and deeply listening to others. I needed a perspective shift to help me experience what others experience, so I could then put words into what I do.
Then came the Uptima Freelancer Boot Camp in February 2022. It helped me to better articulate exactly what Queerly Complex is, who I be, and how I want to show up in the world. It forced me to turn my own skill at deep listening in on myself. It was a delightfully weird experience to be guided by my self and simultaneously notice some of the ways I inquire and reflect.
As a result, I am realizing that I do, indeed, have a method for listening and making deep connections. It isn't just intuition, though that still plays a huge role. There are some mantras, roles, and practices that are at my core that make it easier for me to go beyond what's just being said and dig under the surface.
Right now, especially, it seems we need more people to listen and to truly be heard. I hope that these guides that I'm discovering about the way I listen for deep connection can help you learn how you can listen to your self and your friends, neighbors, and comrades a bit more.